Thursday
Aug112011
Learning Sex of Fetus at 7 Weeks: Medical Progress or Ethical Nightmare?
Thursday, August 11, 2011
A new study was just published in the Journal of the American Medical Association about a blood test that can predict the sex of a fetus using a non-invasive procedure (blood test) at 7 weeks pregnancy. My colleague Kristina wrote a post explaining more about the procedure and technology at Care2. I have mixed feelings about it, just as I did with the expanded prenatal genetic testing that I wrote about in January.
I am pro-choice. I trust women. I trust women to make good decisions about what is right for themselves and for their bodies. While I do not think that I could get an abortion, that is just me trusting myself to make the right decision for myself and my body. In the same way that I trust myself, I trust other women to make the right decisions for themselves, which may mean getting an abortion.
I understand that a lot of women get pregnant at a time in their lives when they are not ready for it. Whether they feel like they are too young, too poor, or simply not ready, I'm okay with that and realize it is simply none of my business. If they were raped or are in an abusive situation, I completely understand the decision to have an abortion. In fact, I cannot say that I with certainty that I wouldn't choose that route too in an abusive situation.
I support women. I trust women. I am 100% pro-choice (even if that sometimes surprises my readers).
I understand people wishing for a baby of a particular gender. We wanted to have two children and had a boy first. With our second child, I definitely wished for a girl (and I got my wish). If we'd ended up with a second boy, I would have welcomed him into our family and we would have then had the discussion about whether we want to try for a third in order to have a girl. We would have talked about how that would change our lifestyle (would need a bigger car, bigger house, may not be able to afford some of the thing we can now, etc.) and we would have talked about the risk of having twins or triplets and ending up with more children than we bargained for. I don't know what we would have decided, but the discussion definitely would have been about whether to try to conceive a third child, not about whether to abort the fetus that was the wrong sex.
Because I am pro-choice, I would support another woman's choice to have an abortion because the baby didn't have the sex that she hoped for. But I would cringe inside. Is gender really that important? Couldn't the family just love the baby no matter what? What happens if she aborts a baby for having the wrong sex, only to get one that has the genitals she hoped for, but that turns out to be transgender? How would she treat that child?
I trust women. I support women. That means that I am pro-choice, but it also means that I believe they deserve to be protected from patriarchal power systems that seek to control their bodies and their decisions. If a woman truly wants a baby of a particular sex, I will cringe but support her in her decision.
My bigger worry, however, is that women will be forced to abort female fetuses because the patriarchal society that they live in places higher value on boy children than it does on girl children. Ultimately, I worry that this early sex detection will be used as a tool to control women, rather than as one that gives them more freedom.
How do you feel about this new test? Would you have used it to learn the sex of your fetus? Would it have impacted your decision about whether to carry the baby in any way?
Image credit: lumaxart on flickr
On being pro-choice...
I am pro-choice. I trust women. I trust women to make good decisions about what is right for themselves and for their bodies. While I do not think that I could get an abortion, that is just me trusting myself to make the right decision for myself and my body. In the same way that I trust myself, I trust other women to make the right decisions for themselves, which may mean getting an abortion.
I understand that a lot of women get pregnant at a time in their lives when they are not ready for it. Whether they feel like they are too young, too poor, or simply not ready, I'm okay with that and realize it is simply none of my business. If they were raped or are in an abusive situation, I completely understand the decision to have an abortion. In fact, I cannot say that I with certainty that I wouldn't choose that route too in an abusive situation.
I support women. I trust women. I am 100% pro-choice (even if that sometimes surprises my readers).
On shopping for the "right" baby...
I understand people wishing for a baby of a particular gender. We wanted to have two children and had a boy first. With our second child, I definitely wished for a girl (and I got my wish). If we'd ended up with a second boy, I would have welcomed him into our family and we would have then had the discussion about whether we want to try for a third in order to have a girl. We would have talked about how that would change our lifestyle (would need a bigger car, bigger house, may not be able to afford some of the thing we can now, etc.) and we would have talked about the risk of having twins or triplets and ending up with more children than we bargained for. I don't know what we would have decided, but the discussion definitely would have been about whether to try to conceive a third child, not about whether to abort the fetus that was the wrong sex.
Because I am pro-choice, I would support another woman's choice to have an abortion because the baby didn't have the sex that she hoped for. But I would cringe inside. Is gender really that important? Couldn't the family just love the baby no matter what? What happens if she aborts a baby for having the wrong sex, only to get one that has the genitals she hoped for, but that turns out to be transgender? How would she treat that child?
On societal pressure for gender selection...
I trust women. I support women. That means that I am pro-choice, but it also means that I believe they deserve to be protected from patriarchal power systems that seek to control their bodies and their decisions. If a woman truly wants a baby of a particular sex, I will cringe but support her in her decision.
My bigger worry, however, is that women will be forced to abort female fetuses because the patriarchal society that they live in places higher value on boy children than it does on girl children. Ultimately, I worry that this early sex detection will be used as a tool to control women, rather than as one that gives them more freedom.
What do you think?
How do you feel about this new test? Would you have used it to learn the sex of your fetus? Would it have impacted your decision about whether to carry the baby in any way?
Image credit: lumaxart on flickr
Reader Comments (74)
First off, it would it no way affect the decision to carry the baby to term. The wife and I would be thrilled with whatever sex our next baby happens to have.
I'm also 100% pro-choice. I don't like the idea of gender-selection abortions, but I can't oppose them either, because I don't believe that I have a right to interfere with a woman's choices about her body.
That being said, if someone does decide to have an abortion based on the sex of the fetus and then gets pregnant again, aiming for the other sex, I believe that person should have a serious look at themselves and whether or not they should be a parent.
If God didn't want us to know the sex of our babies early on, he wouldn't have invented that test.
Man, my irony radar just doesn't seem to be working on this reply...
I am pro-choice too but would have a hard time supporting a gender based abortion. As you said is that really the woman's choice.
We didn't find out the sex with either of my pregnancies and I don't believe I would have opted for an early gender identification test.
I feel pretty much the same way. I am 100% pro-choice in that I trust other women to make decisions about their bodies that are best for them. I don't particularly like that so many women have abortions, but it is none of my business and I don't judge anyone who makes that choice. But I would also cringe at the idea of anyone using that information to abort a fetus due to gender. In B.C., until about a year ago, the policy was to not tell parents the sex of their child unless medically necessary. Now you can pay $50 and have them tell you. From my understanding, this policy was put in place partly to try and stop people from choosing to not have babies of a certain gender. (That's just what I heard- someone correct me if that's wrong).
Anyway- would I use that technology? Yes. Probably. Because I am one of those people that "just needs to know" the gender when pregnant. Partly because I like to know things and partly because it makes choosing a name easier! If/when we have a second kid I will be happy if it is either a girl or a boy.... but I want to know ahead of time. But do I worry about this being used to control women or try and choose a preferred gender for ones child? Yes.
Wow - I'm totally pro-choice as well. There are many many reasons women have abortions, but I don't know if I could support a gender based abortion. You made what you made and you should just be happy that the baby is healthy. As pro-choice as I am, I just can't wrap my head around that one.
I have 2 kids, both boys. I obviously had a boy first and was thrilled beyond thrilled. When I got pregnant again, yes I was leaning towards wanting a girl. When I found out I was having another boy I was thrilled beyond thrilled (except for the fact that the name was going to be impossible). We were having 2 kids & at no point since have I considered having a 3rd to "get a girl". That would be saying I was not happy with the two wonderful boys I got. There are other reasons, but the main one being we made two wonderful kids, they are both boys.
If I was able to find out at 7 weeks I wouldn't change anything. I probably would have found out, I hated waiting so long to find out. But cannot, cannot support gender based abortions.
I'm a very nosy person and would hate to wait until the baby was born to know the gender, even though it really doesn't matter to me either way! I just want to know. I do think there's something a little magical about finding out at the ultrasound when you get to SEE your baby for the first time (or when the baby is born and you really see them for the first time!).
"That being said, if someone does decide to have an abortion based on the sex of the fetus and then gets pregnant again, aiming for the other sex, I believe that person should have a serious look at themselves and whether or not they should be a parent."
THIS x100.
As someone who definitely planned to find out the sex of our child, I can't say I'd go for a test as early as 7 weeks. It just adds to the over medicalized nature of pregnancy (this was my experience in the US).
I agree with your concern about women being pressured/coerced/abused into having possibly unwanted patriarchy-supporting-gender-selecting abortions. This already happens - just later in the pregnancy, when induced abortion is more invasive. Could an earlier test facilitate this? perhaps. But we've already had that debate about whether decriminalising abortion facilitates it. Many people fall on the side of harm reduction, whether or not they "agree" with abortion in general or in various circumstances.
I don't know if knowing the sex of a baby before it is born, at any point, really ever benefits the child. Of course, sure, find out and sure, do what you must (I am also 100 percent pro-choice). At least now those that must find out due to curiosity and need to plan and decorate the nursery can know ASAP and stop wining about wondering 'so they can go shopping'.
And those who are just mildly interested can maybe focus in on name specifics and satisfy their in-laws.
The only bad repercussions for those of us that shy away from overly medicalized pregnancies is that it will be even harder to handle all the pushy people who will say 'it is just a blood test, why wouldn't you find out?"
That's an interesting thought -- I have always considered myself pro-choice, but I would NOT be able to support abortion based on sex. I have heard that in certain places in Canada, U/S clinics won't tell parents the sex of the child, because of the fear that parents not hearing what they want to hear will abort. I always thought this was unfair -- in part because the parents should have the right to any information about THEIR child that a test could tell them, and it would bother me that *I* could not have access to that information about *my* child because of what another parent might do with it. (And I thought it was too late, at the point of the 20 w U/S to opt for abortion anyway? I could be wrong in this.)
With our first child, we opted not to find out, though we has strong feelings we were having a boy (we did). With our second, there were a few reasons we decided to find out the sex -- first, so we could talk to our first child about a he or she, not an it. And second, because we also wanted to put a stop to all the "it better be a girl" talk that we got, as if this was something we could control, or as if the only reason we could possibly be having another baby was so we could have a girl. We figured it was better to tell the interested parties what we were having rather than spend another five months hearing about what they wanted us to have.
I hear some people say finding out ahead is "spoiling the surprise", but it was still a surprise, we just found out about it earlier. It was still just as exciting to find out before our second son was born, I still cried tears of joy, just as I did when I heard our first was a boy. Having a second son didn't change anything for us -- we only planned to have two children; if we'd changed that plan it would not have been to "try for a girl", it would have been because we wanted another child. Period. I don't understand the focus on wishing for one sex or the other -- you get what you get, and really, sex is no guarantee of gender, or personality! And really, when do you stop having kids in hopes of having that boy or that girl? How many abortions are OK in the guest for a certain sex?
Anyway, we were able to find out the sex because I had opted for the routine U/S anyway. I would not have, say, paid for an additional 3D U/S just to find out the sex if it hadn't been clear. So would I get a separate blood test just to find out the sex at 7 w? Probably not. Does it bother me that others would? Not really. But does it bother me that someone might opt not to have a child, or children, of the "wrong" sex? Yes, it does.
I don't think I would utilize this test, since I didn't learn the sex of my baby until she was born, but I could see how women could utilize this test to learn the sex of their unborn baby if they were wanting to avoid not medically necessary ultrasound. I would hope that the results would not be used to influence a woman to abort (or be used by the woman herself as a reason to abort), but I wouldn't want to restrict either access to the test or abortion to make sure it didn't happen.
Good point Naomi. With our first we did find out, we just didn't tell anyone we knew. We said that the baby wasn't in the right position or what not. And actually at both my son's 18 week ultrasound there were no "boy parts" visible so really we didn't know. But now that it is "just a blood test" there will be more people being MORE pushy.
I agree for those that don't want to know what gender their baby is, this could make it tough to fight back against.
I totally agree with you. A baby is a baby is a baby - whether boy or girl. We too (as you may have read earlier) have 2 boys & I could be more thrilled. We get people saying to us all the time "well you have 2 boys, you have to try for the girl". So what I keep trying until I get that girl even if it takes 7 or 8 times. No we wanted 2 children, we have 2. They are wonderful. That's it, end of story.
What??? Seriously, do you really think that God invented the test?
Personally, I think that the test is non-invasive so it should probably be used rather than an ultrasound, which although it has very little effect on the fetus it is still ultrasonic wave exposure and should not be used to simply determine the sex of a child in my medical opinion.
Determining the sex of a fetus or embryo for the sake of sex selection makes me have ethical questions about aborting based on sex alone. For me this would not be an option.
I would like to read and ethicists review of this new test and its uses.
I dont understand your reasoning at all, do you think only women have the right to decide fate of their fetuses? How did they get pregnant to begin with? Are we, by " liberating" women discriminating against men? Now you want to support but "cringe" at a woman's apparent right to end life of a fetus because she may not want the gender. Men are always the boogeyman eh? But women, oh it's their choice to kill their child because it wasn't what they wanted. What a ridiculous world we live in, you seriously need to rethink your position
No where does she state that women shouldnt discuss their decision with their partners. But since women must carry the fetus and bear the brunt of pregnancy (which does compromise the health of the mother) I think they get a big say.
I also think you totally misinterpreted this post to make your point. The post was about the role increased medical testing can play in our lives.
The question of abortion is one that troubles me on so many levels. I'm not sure how to categorize myself... before I had kids I guess I was more pro-choice than I am now. Now, I don't oppose abortion per say, but the thought of it being used as a form of contraception - well, that just doesn't sit right with me. I cannot openly support gender based abortions. Though, I also get that it's none of my business.
I would definitely use the new test if I was pregnant. I was thrilled to find out the sex of our boys while pregnant, it just helped me bond with them even before they were born. They became real people to me after that. So, I know I could not abort... I didn't even go through the down syndrome testing the last time because I knew that I could not go through an abortion, so for me it wasn't worth knowing in advance.
I don't think you actually read this post. It had nothing to do with women not consulting a fetus's father before aborting. If you're anti-choice that's your call, but good grief, can we at least discuss the CONTENT here instead of having a totally unrelated bitchfest?
Do you think only women have the right to decide fate of their fetuses?
Yes, ultimately it is their body, their say. They can discuss with their partner, but they have the final decision.
How did they get pregnant to begin with?
By having sex, possibly consensual and possibly not, with someone who didn't take half of the responsibility for birth control (if they weren't planning to get pregnant).
Are we, by ” liberating” women discriminating against men?
No.
Men are always the boogeyman eh?
No, but those who rape women or seek to tell them what to do with their bodies (whether that is to carry a pregnancy to term that they don't want to or to abort a fetus that isn't of the sex that they wished for) are worse than the boogeyman. Most men I know don't fit into either of those categories, so they are not "boogeymen".
Stephanie, I feel ya, but I suspect you are wasting your breath. Do not feed the trolls. This is going to derail really quickly if we're debating the ideas of "women deciding" versus "both genetic material providers deciding" and "choosing to abort" versus "killing their child."
Well put!
Nadia, I was kinda the same (not planning to abort, regardless of test results) but had the opposite preference for which tests to have. I didn't particularly want to learn the sex (but DH did, and we agreed find out at the routine 18-week ultrasound for two out of three pregnancies) but I did do ultrasound and blood test genetic/Down's screening at 13 weeks because I would have wanted to prepare/study up before the baby was born.
Oops, I had meant to make this comment a reply to the one before from Nadia.
If it makes you so uncomfortable it's surprising you two are pro choice!
As someone who is barraged with "Oh, poor daddy" and "Are you going to try for a boy" comments whenever we go out in public with our four girls, this breaks my heart. We DO find out gender, but I think finding out this early -- with the ease of and access to early abortions -- is a disaster waiting to happen.
Even women who have abortions for "good" reasons often deal with scars and long-lasting trauma from that decision, and I think this could ultimately leave a trail of broken women in its wake.
You know, as I thought about this issue, and before reading Nadia's post, I was thinking.. Maybe an early test would reduce abortions? Because the language might change from "it" to "he/she." You can suddenly visualize the baby better. I don't know. In some cultures, there is pressure to have a certain gender.. but I think mostly, it's just usually a vague hope, but even when you hope for one gender, you tend to get happy regardless when you find out what sex the baby is. If you got pregnant on purpose, or were planning on keeping the baby to begin with, you'll be more resolute to have the baby when it has a specific pronoun. If you were planning on ending the pregnancy, you probably wouldn't get the test. And if you get the test, it's probably because you are curious about your unborn child. So while the possibility of gender selection is there, and probably will happen at some point, I don't think it would become a huge problem. I hope. The thought disgusts me.
I was thinking almost exactly the same thing as Julie, above. Most people I know who were happy to be pregnant became much more attached and felt the baby was more 'real' after learning the gender. I would imagine that would make it more difficult to abort, even if you had been somewhat hoping for one gender and ended up with the other.
It's true, also, that if you are thinking of aborting, you probably wouldn't opt to have this test done anyway.
I am pro-choice and even worked at a women's health center that performed abortions and from my experience there seem to be two general categories of women choosing abortions: Those that really struggle with the decision but ultimately decide to abort based on an extenuating circumstance in their life at that moment. And those that appear to take it very lightly and as someone above said, almost use it as another form of birth control. The latter does make me sad even though I believe it is their choice. It makes it clear that we need to make sure everyone receives plenty of information and support in making that choice.
My point is, I don't really believe those two categories will shift very much, if at all, because of this new test.
I'm uncomfortable with a lot of choices people make (to drink to the point of illness, to eat themselves into illness, to identify as religious fundamentalists, to discriminate, to write hateful things, etc.). But all of those are choices that I wouldn't take away from them, because I want the ability to make choices about my celebrating, eating, religion, social interactions, and speech. Likewise, I want my reproductive choices to be respected, and theirs should be, too. So I don't find it surprising at all that the choice to abort for gender selection purposes would make those of us who are pro-choice both uncomfortable and still 100% pro-choice.
I wonder how this test will impact other countries, such as India. Ultrasounds are often forbidden to prevent women from aborting female babies but sometimes families force women into having them underground. A blood test is a much easier way to force a woman into finding out.
My first thought on reading the headline was, "Wow, I wish I'd had this option" but only because I found the wait until 18 weeks to find out the gender nearly impossible to get through. From the moment I saw the positive hpt, I wanted to know the gender. I'm an instant-gratification sort of girl. :)
After two boys, when I was pregnant with my third child, I was desperate for a girl, so much so that it took an actual grieving period after the 18 week ultrasound for me to get used to the idea of never having a daughter. I look back now and honestly think that had I known then what I know now, I might have *chosen* the third boy instead of a girl.
Like you, Annie, I'm vehemently pro-choice, but I don't think I could ever abort a pregnancy myself. And while I try to be very "live and let live" with other people's choices, I have a hard time swallowing the idea of gender-based abortions. All this to say, I think this information may be more dangerous than beneficial. Those early weeks of pregnancy are already fraught with vulnerability -- this extra information may be too much, and I genuinely can't see a correlating increase in potential benefits to the family.
That's where my mind went also... This would be a concern in countries like India and China were boys are the "preferred" sex, especially when you consider population control policies like in China (where the family planning policy increased the rate of forced abortions). Not that this isn't also a concern in Canada, which is why some provinces do not allow for gender testing, it just isn't as much of a concern here because of cultural differences. I fear for women in countries where there are no women's rights and where women are essentially their husband's property.
It is true that technology is a blessing AND a curse. In many ways, we can't or don't want to stop progress and we also don't take time to think about whether we are ready to accept the consequences of it. We just push for science to continue forward.
On the very surface, I see nothing wrong with a different technology that allows parents to "take a peek" into the potential life growing inside mom. In fact, being that it's relatively non-invasive, the lack of side-effects (compared with the potential for side effects from relatively under-studied ultrasound), I find it an encouraging progress. We found out the sex of our babies; it was exciting and we chose their names once we knew whether we'd be having a "boy" or a "girl". If the technology to do so without ultrasound existed at the time, I'd likely have opted for that.
What's interesting here, though, is the suggestion that this technology will cause abortions based on gender selection. It doesn't take account what the genitals or DNA show prenatally don't guarantee the gender of your child. You might have a child born with a penis who is in all other ways female. You get the child you get. Perhaps more thought needs to be put into WHY people care so much about getting one child more than another, and less concern over HOW we might come to determine the sex of said child while in the womb.
Additionally, people have always, and will likely always, value one gender over another. Female babies are less valued, and killed. While a technology allowing fetuses to be sexed ahead of time may increase early abortions of girls, might it ALSO then, potentially DECREASE female infant abandonment or infanticide? Certainly, forcing abortion on women is not something on which to look favorably, but I don't believe technology is the root of the problem here. It's a societal problem; an issue where people think it's perfectly acceptable to value one child over another simply based on gender.
I agree with Melissa. Just because I don't agree with your choice doesn't mean that I don't believe that you have the right to make it.
As well, my comment above wasn't so much that gender-selection abortions make me uncomfortable. Rather, I believe that people who make these choices might be a little surprised with the curveballs that life with a child will throw at them.
I am not pro-choice, but I don't go around telling other women what to do, either. I believe that the Creator has the say in what we should do with our children, born or unborn, not that the parents have all of the authority. I understand that in this day and age, this is not a popular stance, but it is one based on my belief in the Creator and his word the Bible, and as the Creator, he has the RIGHT to tell us what to do. The Bible's stance on it is clear- children are a blessing, and killing a child, even in the womb, is taking a life.
That said, I don't think this test will make a huge difference to women in this country, or at least I hope that it won't. In other countries where children of a specific gender are culturally more prized...it might be a problem. I see women who already go the medical route with lots of testing choosing to test at 7 weeks, and the fact that it's just a blood test makes it more palatable to me. I probably wouldn't get it, but I might have with my first, if only because I wanted to know that it was a girl SO BADLY. (it was). I'm 9 weeks pregnant now, and I don't care this time if we find out before the birth or not, although my husband wants to know.
That's exactly what I saw in your comment, Dave.
I was afraid to have a girl because I thought I would give birth to a person so much like me, I'd have a hard time parenting her. My second child was a girl and it didn't take long to realize that I already did give birth to myself....and he's turning 7 in about 3 weeks.
I'm uncomfortable with the idea of abortion for gender selection. And I would hope parents who would consider it to get the "right" gender would realize that gender alone does not make a child and that children rarely turn out exactly as we had envisioned.
I find most tests used in pregnancy to be annoying. Yes, I understand they are trying to discover important issues/problems that may arise, but I often think they cause more problems than they are worth. As a doula, I see this all the time - a client gets told they're having a girl, and a boy comes out. A client gets told she has gestational diabetes, goes on a special diet, and loses so much weight her baby is put in danger. A client has a late ultrasound, is told she has a "massive baby" and elects for a cesarean (the baby comes out 8 lbs). A client is told she has a 3/200 chance that her baby has down's syndrome, and they come out perfectly normal...I guess I believe that whatever will be, will be. If I'm going to have 2 girls, so be it. (and for the record, I am pro-choice, but would feel heartbroken if someone decided to abort based on gender - which actually happens all the time in some countries)
Wow. This is sparking some interesting viewpoints. It's rare for me to feel unable to form a solid opinion on something, but this may be too complex for me.
I've already been grappling with my own label of "pro-choice." I truly don't think I would ever get an abortion, even in the case of rape. But I've, thankfully, never had to face that decision and don't feel like I can judge someone who has. So, I really wish there weren't any abortions (as I think most people do), but I wish even more that there weren't situations that made women decide they had to have abortions.
I think that women (and men, too) have the right to knowledge about their fetuses, and I think that medical advancement is a good thing. Making this test available at an earlier stage in the pregnancy shouldn't really change anything. It's information that is going to become available at some point. I guess if the only reason we withhold the test is to prevent gender-selection abortions, it's like we're trying to "trick" people into having to have a baby they don't really want by delaying this information until its too late to legally abort.
But, most strongly, I agree with the first poster who said that someone who is willing to abort a fetus just because of the gender probably has no business being a parent in the first place.
Hmm. I think I have to go sit in the corner and think a while. Let me know if you guys figure it out in the meantime.
Would I want the test? Yes, assuming there is no risk to the baby or myself. But then I am a planner and just like to know ahead. I would never ever consider aborting my child based on the gender. And although I am pro-choice, apparently I'm not totally pro-choice because I would be completely appalled if someone aborted their child based solely on the gender. That just isn't acceptable in my books.
In my area, people are not permitted to know the gender of their child until after 20 weeks. I would assume that this would continue since the reason for that rule is the fear that people would abort based on sex. If that rule continues to be the case, I would think that this test would be moot here...however I would worry about it being used elsewhere.
Good answer to that is the cheapest version (incl lab fees) is $220.
I actually seriously considered this test (pregnant w/#4 after *3* boys) but there's no way to justify that price for us. Plus, would it even work after a first pregnancy?
I've heard they're working on using it as a more non-invasive way to test for genetic issues.
I would definitely have used that technology with my 3rd pregnancy. We'd had 2 boys, and as appalling as it is, when the second one was born, I saw him and thought "Oh, another boy...". I really didn't want to have that reaction again, and wanted to deal with my irrational reactions earlier.
I should say that I adore that little boy now, and wouldn't change a thing - reactions immediately after delivery don't necessarily determine a kid's whole life! But I really didn't want to feel that way again.
The name thing was a big issue for us - we had SO MUCH trouble coming up with boys' names. We were told our third child would be a boy, with a chromosomal abnormality. I knew we could handle the chromosomal abnormality, but was much less sure we could come up with a name! As it happened, that was all wrong and we had a daughter with no apparent issues and named her easily. So I can say with confidence, I wouldn't terminate on the basis of gender, and I'd find it difficult not to be judgmental about someone who would. And I also worry about how this could be used to further control women in cultures where one gender is preferred, but I guess it's not up to me to make decisions for those people.
For me, my Catholic faith shapes my answer; there's nothing wrong with a test to determine gender of a baby still in the womb, but like so many things that are morally neutral on their own, it does have potential for abuse. As someone who's 100% against abortion in all cases, I am also 100% against gender-based abortions and pray for a world where girls are seen as wonderful, valuable creations of God just like little boys-no more so or less so.
I personally did not have any prenatal testing done to screen for downs syndrome or determine gender or anything with my son.
I felt the same way Karen, while I felt it was unlikely I would choose abortion if test results indicated there was a medical issue with my baby, I wanted to be prepared if at all possible (though I do think it is hard to say what one would do until one is faced with a certain situation). I'd have rather learned during pregnancy that my child would be born with Down's Syndrome than in the delivery room. I always felt though, on parenting discussion boards for example, that there was an assumption from others that if you would do the test, you would have an abortion. One doesn't necessarily follow the other, in my opinion.
My dad has three girls, whenever people would ask him how he ended up with three girls, he would say "just lucky I guess" :)
I wish I could give the politically correct answer and say women without a doubt have a right to choice no matter what because it is their body. But I would be lying if I really believed that.
I am not a religious person. I do not picket outside abortion clinics or heckle physicians. But I do have a greater respect for life and an understanding of how precious it is, now that I am a mother. For the most part, it is a woman's body and it should ultimately be her decision. But the idea of aborting a baby because the sex is not what you wish it to be, is horrifying to me. It's just one step closer to being able to pick our babies in a catalog like a hand bag.
I believe that children come to us for a reason. I believe they come into our life to teach us. I am sure this opinion is a little “out there” for many people but I believe that we should be grateful for our ability to conceive and grateful for our children. I think we need to examine our true "need" for them to be a particular sex.
In terms of abortions in patriarchy societies, I think we all realise there is a greater issue there. I don't condone abortion in these societies either but I realise I am not able to fairly judge life where male domination is so deeply embedded in the culture.
I am in BC (Vancouver Island) and that's not true here. In the public system they will not tell you the sex, period.
You can pay for a private ultrasound at one of those 3D places and presumably they'll tell you the sex.
I have not found out the sex with either of my babies, and that's the way I like it.
I think the abortion issue is the most important one here, and it's been hashed out well. But I just want to also comment that this test really reflects poorly on our society's unhealthy obsession with gender. I mean, at 7 weeks you really don't even know that your pregnancy is VIABLE: a significant minority of pregnancies end in miscarriage, and at 7 weeks you are nowhere near out of the woods. You haven't heard a heartbeat yet, haven't ruled out major defects that could be detected in a 20 week ultrasound. The idea that you NEED to know whether you are having a girl or a boy before you even know if you are actually having a baby is kind of sickening.
Interesting Andrea, I haven't read many articles are comments about these tests, so I hadn't encountered that assumption about testing = willingness to consider abortion. It's hard for me to imagine assuming that's the only reason. I do know of people who have had delivery-room-news and that sounds difficult. I don't know anyone who has declined the 13-week ultrasound/bloodwork (IPS), which is free where I live (Ontario). Maybe in my area people just assume that you want the free ultrasound pics and/or heartbeat reassurance?