Tuesday
Dec302008
Breaking it down for facebook
Tuesday, December 30, 2008 
Let's start with a bit of history. Back in June 2007, a facebook group was created called "Hey facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene (Official petition to facebook)" after Kelli Roman (see Time interview with Kelli) had breastfeeding pictures removed from the site. The membership of the group grew exponentially, reaching 6,000 members by August 2007, 26,000 members one month later, and then all the way up to 89,971 members at the time I wrote this post. I honestly thought through the strength of that group that facebook had backed down back in 2007 or at least become complacent on the issue.
Then, on November 6th, 2008 I got a tweet from Heather Farley (@TopHat8855) saying "facebook took my profile pic down because it was of me breastfeeding. Calling in the troops (or whatever I can find)" and later said "going to write an email. Someone is messing with the wrong lactivist ;)". This kicked off round two against facebook on this issue. Heather has been blogging and tweeting about it ever since her original post called Obscenities and has been involved in arranging protests and nurse-ins, as have many others.Other than encouraging people to take part in the December 27 virtual protest against facebook, I hadn't blogged about this issue yet because I thought others were doing a great job. But over the past 24 hours I've started hearing way too many things that are getting me riled up. So let me break the issues and arguments down for you.
Three reasons people may wish to post breastfeeding pictures
I keep hearing people say "I know that breastfeeding is normal and natural, but why do these women want to post their breastfeeding pictures anyway?" Ultimately, I don't think it matters why. Each person will have their own reasons, but here are a few possibilities:
1) It is beautiful and cute: A lot of breastfeeding pictures are beautiful. They are an artistic expression of a relationship between a mother and her child. Like other art, it deserves an audience. Some of this art is photographic (like my portrait taken by photographer Annie Lance). Some are paintings, including historical and contemporary pieces. One of my new favourites is this watercolour by Vancouver artist Erika Hastings . In addition to being artistic, many of these photos are cute and parents love showing off their adorable babies to their friends on facebook.
2) They are proud of their accomplishment: Breastfeeding isn't easy for everyone. A lot of women struggle through bad latches, poor milk supply, sore nipples, and other breastfeeding challenges and if they persevere, they want to share their success with others. Other people like to post pictures of themselves getting their university degree. Well, honestly, that was a walk in the park compared to the effort I put into breastfeeding my son.
3) Marking a milestone in their child's life: Parents like to show friends and relatives pictures and videos of their kids meeting milestones. Especially if aunts, uncles, and grandparents are not close-by, facebook can be an ideal platform for being able to share those special moments. Whether it is breastfeeding, first solids foods, standing up, smiling, or going down the slide, these are the moments people want to share with those that are important to them.
Three stupid reasons for wanting to ban breastfeeding pictures from facebook
Okay, now let's break down the dumbass reasons people keep using to justify facebook's ban.
1) Breasts are sexual and breastfeeding is private: I put these together because they are linked. The only reason that people think breastfeeding needs to be private is because we sexualize breasts. People will mask this by saying something like "it is a natural and beautiful private moment between a baby and mother". Hmm...why isn't it private then when a mother bottle feeds her baby while lovingly holding him and gazing into his eyes. Really, breasts are for feeding babies. Perhaps they have other purposes too, but their primary function is to feed babies. Our society has turned this completely on its head. Daniel does a great job explaining this on culturefeast:
Men and women alike have abysmally poor role models in their parents, extended family, and teachers. Men are taught by example to view breasts as a intensely sexual parts of the female body. They are one of the hottest visual hotspots on a woman. Many men face a sort of sexual confusion when their wives or girlfriends first breastfeed a baby.
That's just the start....read on to get the rest of the story.
2) I don't want to look at your breastfeeding pictures: People keep saying this over and over again. I don't want to see pictures of women breastfeeding. Well good for you. I also don't want to look at pictures of your dog with reindeer antlers, you and your drunk buddies at a bar, you and some celebrity you ran into, or your parents at their 50th wedding anniversary. It simply doesn't interest me. So I don't click on those pictures. Or if I'm really repulsed by them, then I can always de-friend you. It is ridiculous to censor something just because some people don't like it and if we were going to be there, I'd have a list a mile long of things that I consider more offensive and less attractive than breastfeeding.
3) You signed up to facebook, so play by their rules: I like facebook. I like it a lot. It is a great medium for interacting with people and sharing things about my life. But most of all it is great because everyone else uses it too. If I decide not to be part of facebook and instead go to some mommy site that will allow and support my breastfeeding pictures, that won't be much good to me because the people I want to interact with aren't there.
The whole "if you don't like it, go elsewhere" attitude is very typical of current American culture. If you are having problems with your spouse, get a divorce. If you don't like your boss, quit your job. If you don't like an employee's clothes, fire him. If you get bad service somewhere, boycott that place.
Well I'm sorry, but I don't go away that easily. If I am in a good relationship, but there are a few problems then I'd rather work on those problems than just jump ship. If I am getting crappy service somewhere, then I'd rather bring it up with the manager and see if they can improve. If I don't like a company's policies, then I'll also raise it with them and try to get them to change it.
Discriminatory policies get changed when people fight them. Not when they go elsewhere.
Three reasons why facebook should allow breastfeeding pictures
Now finally, here are three reasons why facebook should allow breastfeeding pictures. I'm not the only one blogging about these issues. Heather Farley mentioned many of them in her letter to facebook and other bloggers have raised these too.1) The facebook double standard - revenue generating boobies are allowed: As Chris Brogan pointed out in his post "facebook shows me boobies", breasts (bare breasts, completely topless woman, in sexual context) are allowed on facebook and they're served up as paid advertising to those that are in the right demographic for boobies. Beyond the advertising issue, there are plenty of photos on facebook of women in bikinis or other low cut outfits that show an awful lot more breast than I do when I'm breastfeeding. Seriously, just search on "breasts" on facebook and you'll get plenty of examples. So what is it facebook? Breasts or no breasts?
2) Normalizing breastfeeding and protecting human rights: Breast is best. It is by far the best nutrition for a baby. Yet only 31.5% of American babies were still exclusively breastfed at 3 months (exclusive breastfeeding is recommended for at least 6 months by all major health authorities). This is not good enough. We need society to see breastfeeding as normal. Not something to be hidden or ashamed of. It is also a human rights issue, as Heather explains:When pictures are removed of breastfeeding and not of artificial feeding, breastfeeding mothers are being discriminated against and a wrongful double standard is set. After all, a bottle is simply a plastic, prosthetic disembodied breast in size, form, and function. Additionally, many groups such as the Ontario Human Rights Commission have stated that breastfeeding right issues are human rights issues and that discrimination against a breastfeeding mother is discrimination of her rights.
3) Women and mothers are a big part of facebook's members: People are mad. Almost ninety-thousand (yes - 90,000) people are members of the Hey facebook, breastfeeding is not obscene (Official petition to facebook) group. Right now, these are mad people that would like to continue using facebook, but that want it to change its policies. But the whole issue is causing some people like Maria Lavis to look at facebook's policies regarding photos more closely and she is finding plenty of other things she doesn't like about them and thinking of getting off of facebook (and taking friends and family with her) as a result. This could become much bigger than a few breastfeeding mothers and I don't think facebook wants it to go there.
It all boils down to this
Not everyone wants to post breastfeeding pictures and not everyone wants to look at breastfeeding pictures, but the same could be said of any picture on facebook. If facebook is going to allow pictures it should allow breastfeeding pictures. HEY FACEBOOK, BREASTFEEDING IS NOT OBSCENE!
P.S. - I syndicate my blog onto my facebook profile, so this post is up there. I would encourage you to share it on your facebook profile too! (use the button below).
Reader Comments (102)
I was planning on doing a post like this, but you did it so well I think I'll just link back to you. I really just want to say, "ditto" to everything you said. Thanks for posting this!
kudos! yeah! what YOU said, exactly and perfectly!! I'm sharing it :)
What is more offensive is that facebook allows groups to use the "R" word (retarded) in the most offensive, rude, discriminatory, hateful ways that it is beyond me why breast feeding which is the most natural thing in this world - would be repugnant to them. What a joke.
Hey facebook, if we put up a picture of a cow feeding a calf via it's udders will that be ok??
Facebook needs a staff that has a higher level of evolution other than Maxim or Playboy.
Well written. Facebook has rules, you choose to use Facebook and thereby abide by those rules. If you don't like the rules then you can go to another site.
eHarmony is a dating website that does not allow gays or lesbians. That's their rules so if your gay/lesbian go somewhere else. Is it right that they do that, hell no, but it's their website.
What's getting lost here is that Facebook can do whatever the heck it wants as they are a private company. You don't have to agree with it but don't complain about violating their rules because you have already agreed to following their rules.
The hard truth is Facebook doesn't really care what you think which is why I posted on our branding blog: http://www.brandidentityguru.com/wordpress/2008/12/facebook-bans-breastfeeding-pictures. In a normal situation a customer would stop doing business with someone they didn't like. But Facebook has woven itself through your very makeup. You're hooked like a drug. Even the strung out druggies will take a beating to get more drugs.
Personally I could care less about breastfeeding pictures but it's just very interesting to watch irate mothers complain but yet won't give up Facebook. Like the baby breastfeeding you to are attached at the nipple....think about it.
Well said! I was actually unfriended by someone who messaged me with the “it is a natural and beautiful private moment between a baby and mother“ comment. Well, private was in all caps and the message began with, "I'm not trying to be mean or anything..."
My thought has always been that anywhere a mother can bottle-feed her baby, a mother can breastfeed her baby.
There are bottles out there actually designed to look and feel like a breast, with rounded shapes and more human-like nipples. Would those people offended my breast be offended by those plastic ones? Somehow I doubt it.
Oh wait, they're not - they love to see all the plastic breasts on the scantily-clad women selling potato chips.
Facebook started as a social network run by and for young people, you'd think they'd be less conservative and more open-minded.
Good for you! I wish I had some beautiful photos like that to post. Breastfeeding is a natural and beautiful thing. I feel so privileged to have been able to nurse both of my children. If only they would keep it up longer- they both quit cold-turkey at around a year. It was so sad for me. I still feel disappointed about it months later.
Thanks for posting this!
[...] in parenting breaks it down for facebook, explaining why breastfeeding pictures do not meet the definition of obscene. She highlights [...]
Very well said. I posted this on my facebook page. Breasts were made for babies not for men to gawk at. Facebook should be supporting breastfeeding mothers. I hope they get the message.
Hey! That's me and my daughter up there! I'm the one that started the group- thanks for the great post!!!
Let me know if you want to version of the photo that's bigger.
Kelli (and that's teeny little Ivy I'm nursing up there) : ]
Nope, here in the US they can make their own rules. And they've chosen to not allow nudity of any kind, natural or not. Stop using Facebook or go to a site that allows it. If 90,000 people left their site they wouldn't care, they have 140 MILLION subscribers to their FREE service.
Actually they probably love the free PR they're getting right now. And the ironic part is that women (like you) aren't leaving. That just seems so strange to me.
I'm not taking their side but you have elected to follow their rules (you did so when you signed up). And they have one that you and 90,000 other people disagree with, so leave.
They could if they so desire just ban all 90,000 of you. Be thankful that hasn't happened.
@Big Kahuna - Breastfeeding isn't nudity.
According to Facebook it is. These aren't my rules.
Here's a thought, be proactive. Help Facebook solve it's issues. Maybe recommend that people could have password protected photo areas. Then the Facebook subscriber could issue passwords to their friends/family. Of course I would expect Facebook to charge a small fee for this service, say $5/month. Would you pay?
Otherwise stop complaining because you agreed to their terms and conditions. And any form of uncovered breast is considered nudity. Period.
Again, just playing devils advocate. These aren't my rules but they are within their right to enforce them.
@ Big Kahuna - Umm....they do have protected photo areas. When I post a photo, I set the privacy rights on it. I can determine who can see it and who can't. I have mine set by default that only my friends can see them. However, I could be more or less restrictive with any specific picture.
That isn't really the problem. The problem would be saying that I can *only* post breastfeeding pictures in *private* places. If I want to, I can, and that is great and that is what I do. However, if someone else wants to make a breastfeeding picture available to anyone on facebook, then there is no reason why their rules should say that it isn't allowed. I understand those are "their rules", but as I explained in my post, they are stupid rules and it is a double standard.
Excellent article. There's more to be said, for example the point that the photos removed don't in fact violate Facebook's own rules. I may have been the one who forced Facebook to stop referring to "whole breast" when it meant "nipple or areola" and forced it to state clearly that women's areolas/nipples are (always) "obscene, pornographic, or sexually explicit."
Facebook also claims that the photos it takes down make its site unsafe for children. Facebook promotes the disgust with breastfeeding, and benefits from the obsession with women's breasts.
As I put it in a news release, "Facebook stigmatizes breastfeeding and demeans women, feeding and feeding off wrong assumptions about both."
Thanks again for this. Superb.
Again, Facebook is allowing you to use their service for FREE. They don't have to do anything. You need to follow their rules whether you think they're stupid or not.
If Facebook wanted to they could say no more posting pictures while drinking alcohol or smoking or whatever they desire. You have all agreed to their terms. There's the virtual door, head over to Myspace if you don't like what they have to say.
@ Big Kahuna
You make an interesting point. Perhaps if they want to "protect" teenagers, they should start by banning photos of things that it is illegal for teenagers to do (drinking, smoking, etc.) rather than banning something that is perfectly legal and that anyone whose parents raised them right would not see as obscene.
I have moderated a Breastfeeding Acceptance site on Myspace for over a year and a half with no problems at all.
These social networking sites are a great way to spread awareness of health, wellness, and other topics, including breastfeeding.
This has really made me want to expand from Myspace to Facebook...
"Breastfeeding Acceptance" is the name of the Myspace and Facebook page.
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=46407291462
or
http://www.myspace.com/mflo1978
Acceptance doesn't mean they have to like it... Just accept it.
Facebook will hopefully accept breastfeeding too.
BIG Kahuna,
The problem is if breastfeeding moms didn't protest all the places we've been told not to breastfeed throughout history, and simply followed your advice, and went elsewhere, we wouldn't have anywhere to feed! Moms have been told to stop feeding in malls, libraries, science centers, airplanes, restaurants, etc. No room at the lunch counter, if you know what I mean.
It isn't about one company and it isn't about leaving to find another place, it is about widespread acceptance of what is a very good way to feed a baby. If there are no pictures of breastfeeding moms, then people will assume it is something shameful. For it to become accepted, it must be allowed to be seen!
If facebook had said, per se, that there can be no pictures of interracial couples do you think that you could really be as nonchalant as you are about this?
Thanks for being the devil’s advocate on this one. It is good to be able to debate this.
I wonder - does Facebook also take down pictures people post of their pets nursing their newest litter? Or is it only humans that they have this ridiculous prejudice against?
And to those who say - you accepted their rules, so live by them. I guess that means you feel that there should be no new laws or changes of rules anywhere? After all, those are changes to rules, laws, etc. that we should accept because they are what was in force when we chose where we wanted to live.
Breastfeeding is a healthy, responsible, nurturing thing but I don't necessarily want to see you do it ... on facebook or anywhere else in public. I do believe that facebook is following the laws of "decency" and so therefore have banned nipples and breasts plastered all over their pages. There is consideration for others here, people ... and using a blanket out in public is consideration for the feelings of others' feelings. If you consider facebook your own private album, you are sadly mistaken. As long as friends of friends or whole networks can view your photo, it's probably best to avoid these sorts of photos.
Thank you, awesome way to get the issues straight.
Sharing :-)
If Facebook allows similar or more breast visibility from other users, then I agree with you. However, I have a feeling that Facebook would remove any photos with women in the same exact pose as the photos featured here, regardless of the act of babyfeeding. My mother and I both strongly support breast feeding, but it is possible to photograph the act of breast feeding in an artful and emotional way, while remaining appropriately discreet. Fact is, these people either *want* to expose their breast, whether in reaction to or ignorance of public perception, and the politics of breastfeeding give them a strong persecution argument. But again, it's not about the act of baby feeding. It's about the visibility of exposed breasts. So figure out a way to cover yourself (my mother used nursing garments or a small towel) or realize that your argument, assuming Facebook reasons the way I think it does, is as silly as anyone else who purposefully exposes themselves and posts it online. Again, if similar forms of nudity are explicitly allowed, then Facebook should answer to that.
This is a great post! I strongly agree with your thoughts! Facebook is a huge social network, they are many pictures on there that quite frankly I don't like so what do I do...just dont look at them! But I don't think they should be banned or the pictures be deleted....As a Dad (a Cool Dad lol) when I see a Mom breastfeeding in public I just see it as a natural thing that Mommies do. My wife tried breastfeeding our oldest and she tried for two weeks but she was not lactose talented (could not find a better word..lol) so she switched to formula. Life was better for us as the baby started to feed correctly. Our second Baby was straight formula. So if your a Mom out there that is blessed with the ability to breast feed then there is no reason why you can not do it in public as it is truly blessed!
If you care what people think then just buy a breastfeeding sling or cover. That's it
Anyways I believe this post deserves a tweet!
[...] I have a lot more to say, but PhD in Parenting has already said it all, so I’ll just link to her great post Breaking it down for Facebook. [...]
Hi that picture that was taken off was not obscene at all, in fact it hardly showed anything. Breastfeeding is as natural as brushing your teeth in the morning. Facebook has lot of mom's that subscribe so if they still want our business, they need to get real.
Thanks
Rhonda Jackson
Breastfeeding is the ONLY natural choice that a woman can make when chosing how to feed her newborn. Nothing else can compete here. Milk from other animals or manufactured using soy beans is not and never will be the equal, better or more natural choice.
Nature is not vulgar. Breastfeeding in photos represents the reality of parenting for many women. To ban it is to censor with predjudice; protecting only the ignorant.
Why would facebook wish to do this?
OK I am a breastfeeding mom and think breastfeeding is beautiful. I am not offended when I see someone in public doing it by no means.
But posting pics of breastfeeding is to me a little unneccesary. Those moments are private moments between you and child and should not be posted for people to see and comment on.
To post the pics as an artform is one thing but to just post pics like... oh lunchtime, seriously, I don't care to see that. It has nothing to do with whether or not you use a formula. It doesn't make a statement that breastfeeding isn't okay. It is just saying their are some things you should use discretion on when posting.
There are sick people on the internet. People are getting more friendly with pics of their children, their personal affairs, and their private moments all together. Everytime you post a pic online you have to realize regardless of your privacy settings that it is OUT THERE and there is a possibility some sick twisted pervert can see your pictures.
Just the thought of some sicko who gets off on breastfeeding babies looking at a picture of me makes me sick. And it should you too.
Naked babies are a beautiful thing, swimming in the bathtub, but you don't post those pics.... IF YOU WOULDN'T HANG IT ABOVE YOUR FIREPLACE DON'T POST IT!!!
@Niki
Thank you for your comment. There are plenty of pictures that people post on facebook that I don't like. Just because I don't want to look at them, doesn't mean that I think they should be banned. I just don't look.
Thanks for this! I wonder about the chilling effect that Facebook may be perpetuating. In fact, I got so wordy in my comment that I just decided to write a post about this (linking back here) on my own blog rather than take up all the space here. Thanks so much for this affirming post! I LOVE this.
Thanks for this post - it really articulates the issues so well.
I'm so over the argument that breastfeeding is 'private' and that it's a strange thing to post it on the internet. People post photos of their babies having their first taste of solid food. Babies being cuddled by Grandma. Their pregnant bellies. All of these things are moments to share with family and friends. Breastfeeding is a huge part of a baby's life. Of course some want to share that. But more than that: underpinning all of those arguments is the notion that breastfeeding is a CHOICE, rather than the default way to feed a baby. This is the very attitude that we need to dislodge in oder to promote better health for babies and the adults they will become. Breastfeeding is the normal, optimum way to feed a baby and since babies are everywhere, and babies need to eat with alarming regularity, breastfeeding should be everywhere.
[...] I explained in my other post on the facebook debacle, facebook has an opportunity here to contribute to normalizing breastfeeding and furthering the [...]
There is another option for mothers, and that is Wee Web. It is the fastest and easiest way for parents to share pictures with family and close friends. Breastfeeding is not banned, and if moms want an alternative to Facebook, they should give Wee Web a try.
[...] great post by PhD in Parenting is well worth a look, as is her more recent [...]
[...] obscene’ some time ago. After reading some posts today, like this one and this one and this, and this page, I decided to go a step further and post some of my own breastfeeding photos on [...]
[...] Breaking It Down For Facebook [...]
[...] have been filled with talk of Facebook. If you need to catch up, see this blog entry at PhDinParenting. If you want to hear some good old fashioned outrage, check out this podcast of Fox Across [...]
This article is amazing, and puts into words the thoughts that have been keeping me up tonight since learning of the Facebook bannings. Thank you very very much.
One thing that always bothers me is the constant reference to breastfeeding as "private" and "intimate moment". Thats just a pathetic attempt to mystify and further remove breastfeeding from our culture. Sure, I've had intimate private moments while breastfeeding my kids. I've also had them reading books, homeschooling, and walking around the zoo. I've also had plenty of breastfeeding moments that were not private utopian events. They were simply feeding and comforting my baby, no different than in the comfort respect than holding them in my arms while walking around the mall. People need to get over themselves and the act and realize that its not some mystical event. Its reality and nature and should be the rule in our culture, instead of the exception.
Just to clarify, the "people need to get over themselves and the act" comment above was not directed at people who breastfeed and want to share that. It was directed at the people who cry out against sharing something "so very intimate and personal". Thanks!
[...] achieving increasing breastfeeding rates, our society is intent on shunning breastfeeding women. Facebook tells them that images of breastfeeding are obscene and that we need to protect the innocent eyes of youth using facebook from those dirty images. [...]
[...] It was true when I told facebook what I thought about it’s policy on breastfeeding photos in Breaking it Down for Facebook. It motivated me to write Birth Plan: Yes or No?, to explain about Lactivism and the Homelessness [...]
[...] I explained in my other post on the facebook debacle, facebook has an opportunity here to contribute to normalizing breastfeeding and furthering the [...]
[...] are people going to get it? Breastfeeding is not obscene! var addthis_pub = 'phdinparenting'; var addthis_language = 'en';var addthis_options = 'email, [...]
[...] I read an amazingly well written post breaking it down for Facebook over at PhD in Parenting. I posted a link to the post on my Facebook, because she makes many many [...]
[...] lot has been said about Facebook’s hypocrisy regarding the way they treat breastfeeding images and other images of partially or fully exposed breasts. You’d have to be living under a rock [...]
[...] Breaking it down for facebook [...]
Still one of the best statements on this subject available, as far as I know! Unfortunately it's still necessary 14+ months later.
Thanks Paul. It is making the rounds on facebook again today as part of the Mothers International Lactation Campaign M.I.L.C.
@Annoyed – But facebook allows their advertisers to use pictures of bare breasts and FYI, I don’t allow friends of friends or whole networks to view my photos. Only my friends can view my photos.
Also, if you don’t want to see someone breastfeeding, then look the other way or remove yourself from the situation. It is YOU that has a problem, not them. They are just feeding their baby.
@BIG Kahuna – I don’t know about other countries, but in Canada private companies are not always allowed to “make their own rules”. They are not allowed to have rules that are discriminatory or they can have a human rights complaint filed against them.